illusions. dreams. reverie. candy castles.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

paying little visits

their visit was entirely a big deal. (for them)

maybe i just wanna let it all out. just recently, my wonderful insans came home for xmas from their stay in the states. they really missed home and hanging out with them is definitely something to look forward to, for me. they were like my sisters too and i really missed them.

but the story's not about them.

it's all about my tita's and tito's who are so eager to take advantage of the situation, to do everything that would make them "in good terms" with my tito-ninong from the states. (perhaps, it's because he's a quite weak already that their expecting some inheritance or something) they kept on orbiting around my tito as if they are his ever willing servants ready to be summoned for his every comand. little did my tito know that they are like flytraps, so so sticky to "the-big-catch", just to have something in return.. to ask money as debt that'll later on be converted to the "tiway" (t.y.-thank you) currency.

what make me more furious is the past anger i felt for them. my sisters and I have been fighting for respect due to my father. perhaps, he may have done something wrong to tak the glory out of him but after all, he is still the elder. and no matter how everything changes, one thing is true: he is worthy of respect perhaps maybe not as an elder but still as a person.

what we kept on receiving are insults. and i admit that sometimes i even join in their most cruel jokes to make up for the hurt i feel. but still, if they claim they are refined and civilized people with a broad understanding of all those misunderstood, they would understand my father. he is still my father after all. and i couldn't let this injustice happen to him. he has suffered that much to let himself go astray. and now that he struggles to get back on track, i wouldn't let any person to hinder his way. and if they bring him down, i would carry him up.

we, his family..his true family, will.

even if it means the world against us.

in fairness to my other titas, i am glad that they, the rational and intellectual, still exist in the family. at least, their minds have not yet been clouded my conceitedness. at least, they do not stick to "the-big-catch" just for the sake of money but because they knew, it is their duty. at least, they appreciate our good fortune and does not make monsters out of us through pathetic rumors.

and to my everdearest tita, who's hobby is to borrow money and backstab the person she borrowed from, thank you. at least, you have been the example of the nightmare i don't want to have. at least, you have taught me not to be like you. and never will i wish to be like you. i may have been cruel but i really don't care. and the next time i here you lecturing my mother about the "false" upbringing you claim she has done to us, i'll slap it all in your face. look at the mirror.

to my friends who have done nothing but to console me from the "issues" that have been affecting me so much... this is one of them.

the war is just about to begin.

posted by anthonette || 8:14 PM