Saturday, January 27, 2007
hazing for starters
quickpost...
last night was scheduled to be my column-writing period but unfortunately, it was postponed due to the absence of any dulce im supposed to be having. so to have a little inspiration, i decided to make a sneak peek on One Tree Hill.
gawd. i enjoyed it! it was more than the feature of very as in very very cute faces (with terrific bods!) but a takes-you-to-the-edge-of-your-seat plot and very very nice quotes and lines. it was different with princess hours. it definitely has the mark of an American upgraded and beyond standards production, definitely worth of praise and awards! later on, i glimpsed at our wall clock and i was shocked to find out that it was 3.00 AM! i thought it was just 5, or maybe 10, or maybe 20, 50..whatever minutes that has gone by! then, i heard my mom wake up (which she usually does every Saturday morning to do laundry early). and the initiation of my newly-found addiction was a hazing. she spanked me in the butt! hehehe.. poor me! anyway, i enjoyed watching OTH and i am really looking forward to doing it again, this night.
sssssshhhhh..... keep it secret. owkei?
(^^,)..V
-amazed. dazed. hazed.
posted by anthonette || 4:50 PM
Friday, January 26, 2007
hyper mode struck, as usual.
Ok. Don't panic. let's admit it. it was cute, i mean, very cute. never in my entire highschool life has anyone done that to me. it maybe quite simple, but at least it feels good to be treated special and i knew my friends felt special too.
what added more to the spice for the day were a series of head-turning events for arj, mia and me. everywhere we look, there'd always be those wafu guys around. even if it means another "as-if-my-eyes-are-poring-on-you-forever" moment with arjae's no. 1 stuck-on-her fan!
one thing ill never forget in la salle would be miss africa. and i know, shell never forget us also. she made us feel what truly any children would. she made us feel hatred when punished but still we leave a sense of respect for her. she made us feel happiness on our funny moments but a readiness to take part of anyone's passion in times of pain. most of all, she made us feel loved as if we all came from her but never did she fail to let us experience that althroughout our highschool life. she taught me not only to count numbers but to count all those thank you's to the lord for having her around. if there's something i will never forget about her, it's her tranquilizing breath (haha! because it makes us sedate and resort to secret candy-sharings in her classes...? nah!). because of it, we are able to feel the goodness of peace and tranquility.
i went over to mara's. and met Alpo, my destiny. he was the cutest and most admirable dog i had ever known. he was very cute and very sweet and when you tag at his leash, he stands up as if a normal person and places his soft cute little paws in your shirt, leaving you footprint-ful and making you appear like a part of the flooring. his hair is as fluffy and curly as his male ownerand his pet-instincts are as likable as his female owner. oh, it's love. but i dont really think we're meant to be. please.
last wednesday night, there was a new type of hyperactivism. it was more of hypersensitivity...to reality. it has just dawned to joanne and me that in just weeks, we'll leave the walls of the type of life we had become used to for all our life, and try to find another. if there was something harder and more frightening than anything else, it'd probably be making the decisions on to where our life will lead. no one knows the future, and the least we could do is plan. the problem is, what if the plan backfires, it's hard to turn back time and start the engine again especially if we have flung over the cliff. where do we go? it's hard to plan when there are forces around you that control your fate. all you can do is to choose among the options fate provides and voila! something happens to you before you know it. what freaks people out is the turn-out of any option you make. life is not your friend, you know. it could make and break you.
posted by anthonette || 9:02 PM
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
the page cannot be displayed
the sky has no limit; but for everything else, there is.
***
some stars are within reach. gawd. i envy kenji and rizelle! they had a chance to interview ATE VI! imagine what it feels like, meeting face-to-face lipa's mayor and one of the country's renowned actress. it is absolutely an honor especially for a vilmanian just like me. how i wish i was there too....... hehe...
***
the fishy missy strikes again. she started it with that damn cotillion (or whatever the spelling is). i, personally, don't like it. and i don't want to ruin my relationship with my father after those days of ignoring me just because we went home at around 6.30 even if we were only with my cousins. if they want that cotillion, then they should volunteer themselves and not others who don't want any pasosyalan in the first place. it just felt so good to tell her i feel not threatened after attempting to force me to agree if she would speak to my mother. i can still remember the words: e di miss tanungin nyo ang nanay ko kasi kahit anong gawin nyo hinde papayag yon. i knew our house is just across the street but it's still not safe outside for i know very well that there are drug addicts walking the streets at night. (ciempre it's their time to do their bisyo) plus, i never really wanted to be there. what added more to my hatred, that made me almost blow off is when my classmates insisted that it should be me. i'm sorry but i am not really a popularity and pasosyalan fan. i told rizelle that and she agreed. she knew that given the choice of studies and that, of course, with no question i'd rather stick to my books and eat my heart out studying. i like the prom but i am not made for synchronized and practiced dancing with the weird Muslim-inspired instructor. maybe it's my unexpected and excess male hormones that triggers me to refuse it. hehehe...
the fishy missy solicits again. has she got no manners?! first thing she asked when rizelle said they went to mayor vi was: nagsolicit ba kayo sa kanya? duh!
***
peter cayetano vs. the first gentleman. their limits were tested as yesterday, the most-awaited cross examination by cayetano was initiated regarding the bank in Germany where most of the Philippine budget goes. Corruption! the never-ending topic!
***
ateneo's embarassment. the scenario was funny as it was played once again on tv patrol. but, some ateneans were interviewed about their reactions to it. majority were embarassed of both parties and claimed that they were a disgrace to ateneo. gawd. ateneans are definitely impressive! they make an impression of incredibly smart youth and very notable students. rizal was right to promote atenean education.
***
when ensaymadas don't suffice. it requires a total brain drain before you can even come up with the perfect answer which will be marked wrong after 30 seconds of writing it. but still well try very hard to do better this time.
***
posted by anthonette || 11:05 PM
Sunday, January 21, 2007
day-off
right now, i am struggling to write my column. it's my parting column so i really want to give all my heart coupled with my dulce and my anti-sloth-y mode for it.
last friday, i was absent for two reasons--my excuse letter says i was sick, reality chips in: i went to Manila. (^^,)..V well, i just can't miss planning for my prom just to attend a half-day class and what?! oh. don't bother knowing. so it's my mini-time for myself. to rest and have a vacation, a very short one.
thursday evening, all lights on the streets were on and makati was definitely alive and kickin'!! woo-hoo! on the previous days, my sister told the good news about my prom dress. she and my sister (younger than her) chose it for me. it was okay. i liked it because it was very simple. and i never thought that with my tan color, i could wear a metallic mid-pink mid-purple a-line gown with a very weird but very cute top, with beads and pleats and folds. oh gawd. it's really so hard to describe. but every detail and design of the gown was included only on its top. the dress, i mean, the skirt (long skirt) is just a simple one--no design, no detail or whatever that is supposed to go with it. plus, it only has two layers which is a perk for me but may make the gown seem to lame. i don't know. i like my gown because it was simple but something seems to be lacking.
maybe i'm not just used to wearing gowns, anyway.
or maybe it feels incomplete because of i still don't have any accessories on. (except the earrings)
or maybe i am a....
No way. I am defintely not.
heehee... (^^,)..V
posted by anthonette || 4:33 PM
sense and sensitivity
there are certain things which you'd want to be left unspoken of. while others would be something you'd like someone to hear out. whether you try to hide it or burst it out, your inner you just tells you what you've got to do. and the response has an effect on your body language, which the chosen would understand and the naive will be left nothing but naive.
i tried to hide, to conceal, to camouflage and to act innocent. but every single effort was all useless. the effort was not that obvious yet, yet nothing really happened. i was still stuck in that stinking mood.
i tried to reflect on myself. what would this dull and lifeless feeling bring me? why would i dare to swallow all the pain and be as distant as possible to my friends, to my family, to all those who cared about me? it's pointless. in the first place, i was never that lonely person.
it was not that solitude and peace i was looking for that i found. it was loneliness, pain and isolation. who would want to live in such a hell?
therefore, the only way i'd feel alot better would be to go back who i really am, to be comfortable of everything that goes, to ignore the pressure, to avoid worrying. the greatest strategy of facing any problem is to face it with the end in mind. in this case, it is always victory.
posted by anthonette || 3:25 PM
Sunday, January 14, 2007
all grown up.......almost
lately had been my most responsible and mature hours of my life....
last week, i remembered talking to my friend about marijuana boy. i told her what happened in my last conversation with him. and honestly, i'd like to tell my friends, please don't think that way. i have my own mind, my own decisions. i don't want you to think that i regret listening to you and choosing to listen over your advice than being with that person. i just know deep inside that he's not meant to be with me. and all i want to say is that i don't regret what i've done. if i were to have 'someone special' i want him to be someone i could be very proud of for all of you. and i know very well that at my very young age, i could not find anyone perfect for that qualification. so in short, i don't have anything against anyone and i have completely (not moved on) but ignored what just happened. i am just so passive about it. but sometimes out of something to talk about, i just blurted it out. and at least you would know any update about me. so to my friends, thanks because i owe all the wonderful things i had in my highschool life with you. i know i am being over dramatic but i just want to be honest about how grateful i am for having you around. at least now i am more sure of myself of what i want, of the things i need to prioritize and of what matters most to me, my friends, of course.
today had been my "motherhood day". uh-uh. i am not preggy nor have any kids already but today had been like my own The Simple Life Mother's Edition. because my mom is sick, i cooked, washed the dishes, swept the floors, cleaned the house, and ironed my own uniform for the upcoming week. mind you, it was not a very nice and enjoyable job. washing the dishes were okay and cooking as well but when it comes to ironing......uh! hate it! imagine the iron was so hot and i was so sweaty despite the cold weather and the electric fan focused on me. good thing i was not asked to shop for our food in the market or wash the eeeky, dirty and smelly fish! later on it made me realize how hard was it for my mother to do all these housework then attend to our needs as well. imagine having to wake up at 4 early in the morning to wash our clothes every weekends and at weekdays she'd prepare for her stall at the canteen. poor mom! it made me think of not having a family in the future anymore, if it would mean all these difficult jobs! i'll just hide in the forest or something............
(^^,)..V
posted by anthonette || 8:35 PM
Saturday, January 13, 2007
disconnected
yesterday supposed to be my blogging wake up time, but due to terrible unforseen situations, our phone became dead! funny was, all i heard were a couple of pulses (beat! beat!) and i felt nervous that i might've done wrong with our line that's why there was no dial tone.
so it's why i cannot post for my blog.
got nothing to do...........
(^^,)..V
posted by anthonette || 3:52 PM
post for yesterday
what webster tells you...
dys.pep.sia (noun). turbulent and irregular movement of the stomach; similar to that of spasms.
dry runs for the ncae brought not just 'deja vu moments' but extreme hunger. growl! i heard my stomach complain for countless times since the nerve-wracking computer exam. my radar tells me food! foOD! FOOD! but what can i do? aside from the strict 'sample' proctor and the pleasure of being with the kuhol-like front seater, there's no way i could go out and leave my peeps to grab a bite. which is why at our most-awaited lunch at kfc, i had a spasm. ouch! whether i sit down or walk around, there was always the troubling spasm. fortunately, it stopped now.
***special thanks to motillium! and the inspiring belly dancers...
pic.ture (noun). an image of a person, a thing, a place, anything in this world printed on a special type of paper known as a photo paper. see also photograph.
i recopied my pics for extremely important reasons, extremely significant persons. unfortunately due to my absentmindedness (while buying the mamons in the mamon-an), i left my picture with two goons! gawd. i just went off from the jeep rizelle and i was riding when in my reverie, i woke up and found out that i lost my newly recopied pics! gawd. imagine i hailed for a 'trike' from the other side of the street and ask him to take me back to big.ben. when i cam back, the goony vendor denied seeing something i might've left. i was close to hysterical! seeing that i was becoming furious, he gave back my pics. his other goony mate even asked if he could have some. hello?! eew. please. i just smiled and told him rather tactlessly that the pics are not meant to be given away to someone insiginificant like him, whose existence does not make any sense to my life. i don't care if he was hurt as long as i made it all clear to him. i counted the pics on my way out. good thing it was still complete.
rest (noun). a momentarily retreat from tiring and wearisome work.
today has been the rest day after the exams and also a rest day for me for sleeping s late just to watch princess.hours. anyway, it's owkei and i really wouldn't miss it for the world!
ob.ses.sion (noun). intense desire to achieve or acquire a thing, a luxury or a goal.
if only televison could be reality, i would die as have a deadly serious death just to be in caijing a.k.a. janelle's shoes! i am super obsessed. i am guilty. there's never a day that i never think about it, talk about it or dream about it. how i wish there are thousands, hundred thousands, millio...billions of filipinos who would love it too! hope it becomes a hit! a top-rater!
end (noun). the termination of a certain process, job or simply an action
.
(^^,)..V
posted by anthonette || 3:51 PM
Sunday, January 07, 2007
candy castles
you had them for a moment, in a second, they're gone.
i know i should've been happy about it. among thousands of examinees, i was one of those who passed the challenge, who was able to reach their expectations and fit into their qualifications. but all my efforts were not enough. i needed help, support which can only be catered to me through my shcolarship. without it, i am no one. i have no future anymore. my family can't afford my tuition fee and expenses in ateneo. i need that scholarship and if it wouldn't be given to me, my dream will be left nothing but a dream, a bubble popped as time goes.
i envy my sister. she had it all. she has a well-defined dream, a goal, a purpose. best of all, she was able to have it all and make all her dreams possible. she was perfect. and here i am, sharing her shadow before and totally obliterated now. where am i to go? if there's one place where i found my dream, it is in ateneo. but without the opportunity to make it there, where am i suppossed to have my dream? i really don't have any clue on what to do next. i feel there's no hope for me to go on. i hate myself. i hate my life. i hate it! i know i should learn to accept whatever comes. but how could i? it is the only thing i am holding on to now, and i don't have it anymore. i don't want to live like a 'nobody' and in order for me to make it big, i should strive for it. i did! didn't i? wasn't it enough? i tried hard. i've forgotten all those distractions, made my life into a lonely hell, living according to what books and education entail. i've focused greater than i did for the past years, tiring myself everyday, studying, studying and studying. frankly, the only time i ever had a life was only during the holidays. but, nothing happened. it earned me to what?!--just a damn***.
i know i should be grateful. but i just can't. i just can't pretend that i am happy. having no scholarship feels just like being rejected. what's the point of continuing if there's no future waiting for me. i never admitted before, but now, my envy for my sister goes strong. buti pa sya. she has it all. i was left nothing. i have no dream. and no dream is ready to wait for me.
i am hopeless.
posted by anthonette || 11:37 AM
Saturday, January 06, 2007
from a teenage drama queen princess
oh my god. my princess hours obsession heightens as more and more people are hooked up with it! i am truly overwhelmed to say that the princess hours society is about to reach its baby boom as more and more fans rave and crave about it! i am so super happy!
hehe...
my friends even joked that i should be its producer in the philippines. come to think of it, i advertised it, demanded for its ratings immediately after it was aired, and even fought for it in one "kapuso blogger central" tag box. as many as my friends are, are the times i persuaded them to watch princess hours and get hooked. and best of it, i was successful! whehehe... victory is in my hands! (^^,)..V
oh yes. after two more months, i will graduate from school. time really runs so fast. at the moment, it feels like one of my firsts and in a second, it is about to end. i suddenly felt excited for finally 'growing up' and being more independent at the same time, i feel so worried whether that new world will accept me or will i be able to enter in that new world, without entering the hole of a needle.
oh no. my dearest (sarcasm.) adviser emphasized that the stallion solicitation
oh. the exams are on! and every year there's only one thing i can say about them: i hate them.
(^^,)..V
--------------
oops! newsbreak....
i just passed....... ACET!!!
(according to james) hopefully, pati scholarship... i pray.
(^^,)..V
posted by anthonette || 9:08 PM