Sunday, January 07, 2007
candy castles
you had them for a moment, in a second, they're gone.i know i should've been happy about it. among thousands of examinees, i was one of those who passed the challenge, who was able to reach their expectations and fit into their qualifications. but all my efforts were not enough. i needed help, support which can only be catered to me through my shcolarship. without it, i am no one. i have no future anymore. my family can't afford my tuition fee and expenses in ateneo. i need that scholarship and if it wouldn't be given to me, my dream will be left nothing but a dream, a bubble popped as time goes.
i envy my sister. she had it all. she has a well-defined dream, a goal, a purpose. best of all, she was able to have it all and make all her dreams possible. she was perfect. and here i am, sharing her shadow before and totally obliterated now. where am i to go? if there's one place where i found my dream, it is in ateneo. but without the opportunity to make it there, where am i suppossed to have my dream? i really don't have any clue on what to do next. i feel there's no hope for me to go on. i hate myself. i hate my life. i hate it! i know i should learn to accept whatever comes. but how could i? it is the only thing i am holding on to now, and i don't have it anymore. i don't want to live like a 'nobody' and in order for me to make it big, i should strive for it. i did! didn't i? wasn't it enough? i tried hard. i've forgotten all those distractions, made my life into a lonely hell, living according to what books and education entail. i've focused greater than i did for the past years, tiring myself everyday, studying, studying and studying. frankly, the only time i ever had a life was only during the holidays. but, nothing happened. it earned me to what?!--just a damn***.
i know i should be grateful. but i just can't. i just can't pretend that i am happy. having no scholarship feels just like being rejected. what's the point of continuing if there's no future waiting for me. i never admitted before, but now, my envy for my sister goes strong.
buti pa sya. she has it all. i was left nothing. i have no dream. and no dream is ready to wait for me.
i am hopeless.
posted by anthonette || 11:37 AM
the palace
78th street. chocolate wheatfields.
plotted at 1024 x 768 total area.
dear guest...
you are trapped in my own reverie.
the only way out is to walk through my life.
it is your fate.
and if you wish for liberty
i ask only for your tooth
that it may fulfill my dream
of being your fairy...
but if not,
you'll forever live in my illusion.
may i remind you, you are seeing through my mind.
whether you do good or bad,
i will always know...
i'd be glad to hear from you...
but make sure it's worthwhile......
enjoy your stay.
and i wish your dreams become a reality...
and your reality takes part in my dream...
my friend.
the tooth fairy
a teenager.
not only likes chocolates but especially, coffee.
has that undeniably "chocolate features"..the perfect chocolate proprietor.
loves accounting and bookkeeping except her stupid "ceiling-gazer" professor.
cannot survive without television.
cannot survive without food.
spends 500000 every 5 years for food and clothing.
certified food-a-holic.
loves exotic food, animals except...people.
despises math. and physics!
dreams to live in South Korea.
opposes North Korean nuclear testing forces.
a cool, calm and collected oppositionist.
struck by hyperactivism whenever "prince charming/s" is/are around.
object of ridicule.
with ferocious booming voice.
100 % female.
with a hundred percent set of teeth.
hates braces.
and guys who wear them.
and guys with glasses.
loves to write.
if there is pen and paper.
near-sighted.
wears a contact lens.
with newly-bought travel pack case from *japan home.
sleeps late.
hates texting.
loves chatting.
hates swallowing-self-pity-people.
hates insecured backstabbers with inferiority complex syndromes.
koreannovela addict.
juday-piolo love team fanatic.
friendly and approachable.
but..
pulaera. suplada. matapang.
"every guys pal, no guys passion."
with exception to my "adiktus" bestfriend, domingo..
has weird dreams once in a while.
has great big dreams.
doesn't dream at all when exhausted.
hopeless romantic.
narcissist.
believes on fate. relies on faith.
supports the bright and sunny movement.
opened a cupboard.
later on, closed it.
blogger profile here.
the little dreams
an Ipod.
a cellphone with CAMERA.
a boracay mansion.
a prince charming just like Xin.
a jaguar or ferrari, owkei na.
to go to S.Korea.
pass UPCAT and ACET.
be an Editor-in-Chief.
write an editorial.
update my blog every now and then.
eat a BIG MAC now!
establish a coffee shop.
have my own pictorial.
contribute to YoungBlood.
act on a play.
sleep 10 hrs. a day for a whole month.
think of any possible way to push through my xmas shopping!
"older posts" to appear in my tagboard.
find my perfect wedding dress.
but first, my prom dress.
overcome my fear of cockroaches and spiders.
join GABRIELA.
go back home, at Bicol.
eat ice cream for a whole day.
shop-till-i-drop.
for Princess hours to be a hit on Phil teevee!
somebody special and true.
someone who'll tell me:
"stay beside me. without you, everything will be empty."
stop being cheesy, mushy and emo.
overcome the fear for the future.
know my real dream.
find the one.
the parliament
on leaves and leaving.
my__friendster.
my__friendster.blog.
my__multiply.
princess hours!!!__friendster.
mia.
monica.
arjae.
rizelle.
jess.
berna.
joanna.
joanne.
kris.
renz.
joyce.
april.
kit.
naeces.
jenn.
ka silyas.
the kingdom
sibs.barkada.
the cupboard
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the memories
September 2006
October 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
June 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
the mail box
the pillar
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