illusions. dreams. reverie. candy castles.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

unmasking the promenade

the prom. it was good but not nearly that dream i would like to have. it would've been better if i weren't the emcee together with a loser who's an expert in making people feel like a loser. and i did. i terribly felt like one.

but all-in-all especially the dancing part, it was great!

oh come on! let's admit it.

i know my friends would be confused again of what i would say. but after what mr. smugy guy did, i felt like a dream prom would be asked by mr. kumag. i saw him dance with another girl and felt like he was looking at me but i didn't want him to see me look in his way. i don't know. it just felt like for the last time, i'd want to be dance by a person so memorable to me. it doesn't mean i have to go back liking him, it's just that i knew we had a slight currently disconnected connection that i somehow held onto, that somehow i felt would make us friends and keep wonderful memories together. but it was all a joke. a lie. i will never be memorable to him, when he was for me.

it hurts more when i knew for a fact, he was the first one i cried for.

maybe, i am really into him the day we became friends. but i did not regret refusing to him. i mean i can never be the perfect one for him, right. i just wanted to have that last dance. at least, a farewell one that i was not able to have that night. i drowned myself to the upbeat music and tried to forget thinking that dancing with me would somehow slip his mind. i just really want to have that last dance. to at least say goodbye. i never thought that our phone conversation would be the last. if i did, i would've made a special ending with it. and at least, i wouldn't expect anything from him especially that last dance.

i guess we're both in a dream we really don't share.

i know my friends would blab about how weird i am because i don't know who i really like. and probably insist that i am dipped into regret again. i just want to make it clear, that i don't feel that way. it's just that i really held on to the thought that he would come to me and ask me, if not the last, but at least a dance. just to say goodbye from each other. i don't ask for anything else. just a simple dance. a memory i would bring as i move on.

the good thing is, i became an angel to another person. at least , he told me that he was glad to have me to dance. he may not definitely be a person i would like but it's good to feel that you are wanted and that you made one dream come true.

and for my final dance....

i had it with my bestfriends.

i may have grown weary of them since i have been with them for years, everyday of my life. but sooner or later, i know they are the ones ill miss the most. sooner or later we are to move in separate paths, take different courses and meet new people. sooner or later, we are to say goodbye.

and then i realized, i have someone to share my dream with.

(^^,)..V

posted by anthonette || 1:07 PM