illusions. dreams. reverie. candy castles.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

when i met mr. smug-slash-chinito-slash-loser boy

i regret writing about him in my blog. such a waste!

i mean, you don't have to take me if you don't want to. it's not as if i am forcing you to do it for me and besides, in the first place, everything had just been simpler if you didn't come into the picture.

i thought that for the first time in my highschool life, i met the guy i have been looking for. but now, i just realized: first instincts were never right. and if i could just turn back the time i wouldn't have said "yes" to you, anyway. gawd. im so gullible. he's such a mean fouly bastard who does nothing but pretend as if he's an innocent guy with the purest but lousiest concerns for other people.

f-y-i. i don't need you. i can take care of myself, thank you.

i mean, looking back, jonathan never treated me that way. even if he was a chickboy, he admitted that and never did he pretend as if he was the very very nice boy-next-door. patrick may have been a little naughty especially during our chit-chats but he was never that disrespectful and very very mean.

i meant to tell you that you are one lucky bastard for having me agree to you. i would have said yes to the others, whoever would but i didn't. and gawd i am so darn foolish for falling into your trap. excuse me, but i will have fun tomorrow night. and no one especially you can stop me.

kenji told me i should not make this a big deal. i mean, if he were to see this, it'd be like feeding his ego. and most probably, he'd think that i am head-over-heels for him. hello?! i may easily fall for someone, but i can be easily displeased.

but of course, it'd be a little mean if i push you away tomorrow. ill just wait if you'll come or not. if not, i'd smile my best smile and enjoy the evening.

you're not one of the reasons i'd enjoy the evening anyway.

you could've been one but honestly, you just lost yourself brownie points.

i don't know if you were just not in the mood during that time and you meant no harm for me, but you are still a kid. you really don't know how to treat girls right.

no wonder i never heard anyone linked to you.

then, i really won't care after i write this. i don't care if you want to be your "little Ailene" would be yur partner. damn, i don't! perhaps, i just wanted to blurt everything out that's why i wrote this. because honestly, it makes me feel pathetic that you made me feel pathetic when never in my entire life has done that to me. i mean, i may have said the cheesiest lines to some "other guys" but they never made fun of what i say. i can feel from them that they really took it seriously.

if you don't care, i won't. you can count on me for that.

well, good luck sucker.

don't go jaw-dropping on me, tomorrow.

it's enough revenge for me.

:p

posted by anthonette || 6:04 PM