illusions. dreams. reverie. candy castles.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

if ever monalisa cries

no one will ever know who they really are hence, will they know who others really are. we live in total ignorance, unaware of how we really feel until we finally admit it and then realize it's just too late for us to know. then again, we begin to know ourselves, not seeing the truth that there are still other things to be learned, and we make the same mistake of being blind to realize it.

thus, we can never know what our heart truly feels.

man can deceive himself as good as he can deceive others.

at some point, we experience the downfall of our ignorance and negligence. we cry. we weep. we mourn. we do all the things synonymous to what we think of as sadness. because that is how we really feel. and we admitted it. however to some, sadness is a white flag in a battle. a retreat. a sign of admitting defeat. a sign of hopelessness. weakness.

which is why often we shield our sadness through laughing it all off, thinking that if we do, at least, everyone would think we are not defeated; we are simply taking things the easier way, because it makes us feel that others would think it's not a big deal.

the righteous would say: "who are you fooling?" but i am not one of them.

id rather say that "it is what i think. shedding a tear, for me, is a weakness. and no one or nothing can change that."

that is exactly why i never want to cry.

life has given man enough reasons why god created such art of crying. what man did not know and god never made it clear were His reasons of creating 'sadness'. man made his own assumptions, bringing sadness into a positive light. but sadness is nothing but a sad word and never will it promise bringing the light.

sometimes even our sadness darkens our vision to see our own image, losing ourselves to depression and making us feel more and more desperate of ourselves. and then again, that sadness only brings us to false conclusions and impulsive decisions.

at the end, the light of regret breaks into vision.

and in that light, we try to redeem ourselves by keeping that light, by pulling us deeper into our own hell and by pampering ourselves with delight when in reality, we are rotten inside. rotten alone.

but who's fault is it? do we really want others to see we are stained and broken?

no one can ever understand. that's why we are made unique. we can never expect that others would understand what we truly feel, what we truly think, what we are truly. and when we tell them the whole truth, they will only judge us when it is understanding that we ask from them. it'll only leave us a single conclusion that it'd be better for them to see we are happy than let them see we are falling apart.

we really don't have any choice but to shut up, do we?

posted by anthonette || 9:43 PM