illusions. dreams. reverie. candy castles.

Monday, July 16, 2007

his bare feet made me cry

if there's something i hate about going home..

maybe it's because i have to commute through jeepneys, ruin my day with the traffic, pollute my lungs with the murderous air in manila and feel the sweat, not just of my own but also by others, sliding down in every exposed part of my body.

but then, i saw him.

the jeep driver called him and scolded him for just gripping the metal grills of the jeep on its entrance. sheepishly, he ran to the seat and sat there with his innocent eyes looking back at our faces who are dumbfounded by his presence. the kid was perhaps 10 years old or so, his clothes were dirty, his face was covered with grease and he has no shoes not even slippers on his feet. but what captured everyone's attention was a ribbon tied on his neck with a cover of something or a spare part of a washing machine in the middle which serves as protection for the hole in his throat.

i almost cried.

the child can barely speak and when the girl beside me conversed with him i barely understod what he is trying to say. he made hand gestures in order for us to understand. i asked him where he came from and he replied through showing a gesture of begging alms. the girl beside me explained that he came from baclaran.

the jeep stopped and the "pulis oysters" rode. one of them recognized the kid and informed everyone that a major "sweep-off" of street children occured in buendia a while ago. the oyster-churva asked the kid why he was not captured by the dswd. the kid even animatedly replied that he ran (of course he did it with hand gestures).

i was so caught up with the conversation going on when i realized that i am nearly home. so before going off, i gave the kid fifty pesos and ordered him to buy food for himself. i felt total authority over him warning him not to spend the money for gambling and in return, he was looking at me with that conviction that he would spend the money i gave him for good reasons.

before going off, curiosity got into me. i asked him where his parents were and why is he wandering the streets by himself, begging for alms. he replied that his mother was dead and that his father was at home. i am slightly infuriated by his father, knowing that he's at home and his child is out on the streets, risking his life just to bring food for the family.

then i got off and said goodbye to him.

when i got home, i felt so sad.

it has just gotten to me how lucky i am i did not experience such in my childhood. it came to me how often i whined about very simple things or when my whims are not acknowledged when in fact there are kids out there who don't have food to eat, clothes to wear or slippers to step with or who have nothing at all. it saddens me how these children are made to work by their parents and then looking at myself, i felt so rotten for hating my parents when they make me do some simple household chores.

the experience hit me back so hard.

i felt sorry for him.

but i felt more sorry for myself

for how rotten i have been acting.

posted by anthonette || 9:44 PM